


Tremors

by MeeMaw



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, I still believe in Jonerys & boatie, post s8e4, we mourn the dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 13:39:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18740152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeeMaw/pseuds/MeeMaw
Summary: “I’m sorry you lost all of them here in the lands of your ancestors where you had come to fulfill your destiny and I curse the fateful day I came to these shores. I love you, Dany. With all my heart. Mayhaps life may not give me another chance to say it. So, allow me to say it while I still breathe. I love you, my love. In another life, we could have been together and in that red castle of your family, your silver-haired daughters and sons would have been mine too.”





	Tremors

**Author's Note:**

> This new season is so awful, I don't feel like writing at all (i'll cry if anyone comments, "you shouldn't have" haha). The character assassinations of Daenerys "I want to go home" Targaryen and Jon "Winter is Coming and the dead come with it" Snow has gotten onto my nerves. It's perhaps more like wishful thinking at this point but I had to get this thing off of my chest.
> 
> Thank you @farrison-hord for the quick read!

The only palace I desire is the red castle at King's Landing, my lord Pyat.

_—Daenerys Targaryen to Pyat Pree_

*~*~*

Daenerys Targaryen had worn her mask of Valyrian steel when she vowed before Greyworm and her advisors that Missandei’s sacrifice would not go in vain. That she would avenge her friend with Fire and Blood, just as Missandei had reminded her in her last moments. She had brought Missandei's remains back to Dragonstone, cremated her with the honor befitting a queen and solemnly prayed that her soul would find peace and quiet Missandei had craved in life.

 

 

 

“Island of Naath..” Greyworm said “Her home. She has gone home and I will join her when I have killed all of my queen's enemies.”

Daenerys wept then. They were no Lannisters or the Golden Company or any other pretentious lords around her. She was with her own people and she could let her mask slip, if only for a moment. Her people from Essos were the only family she had known since Viserys and she knew in her heart that with Greyworm around, she could mourn her beloved friend without having to fear looking weak or _unqueenly_. “You should go now. Go, leave, ALL of you.” Daenerys wiped her tears and took his hand in hers. She looked into his eyes when she spoke. She truly wanted them all to leave. “This land is vicious and cursed. It takes and consumes your soul without ever giving anything in return.” She pleaded, “It’s my fight alone from this moment on, not yours or the others’ who crossed the narrow sea for me. I free you from your oaths, leave this place Greyworm!”

“No, my queen,” said her Unsullied commander “We make an oath and the Unsullied die on their swords before getting called oathbreakers. We are not like the pale men.” He spat and Daenerys shared his disgust at that moment. “I make a promise to Missandei and I keep my word. We all will.”

“We shall avenge her” she promised once again even though she knew that she had her people’s trust and her word was as good as sacred oaths taken before the heart trees or starry septs.

 

 

 

Drogon still keened in sorrow as he perched alone where once he was surrounded by two brothers. Daenerys ran her hand over his thick scales and leaned her forehead against his hide in hopes of soothing them both of the grief.

She watched sharply as a lone ship approached the Island. Another shattered dream from her life, a bittersweet memory of what could have been.

The pain of loss coursed through her veins and her heart bled anew on seeing Jon there. Jon stood in silence, watching with sullen and regretful eyes that did nothing to lull her pain.

He took a tentative step forward and hugged her tightly in his arms but Daenerys stood unmoved and unrevered, like the desecrated idols of the vanquished peoples in the city of Vaes Dothrak and felt older and more lifeless than the crones of the Dosh Khaleen.

“I brought them to their dooms. All of them. My children, my family of freed slaves and the Dothraki people who followed me here.. all of them... I gave them nothing but death.” She crooned with unmeasured sadness and bitterness that Jon had never witnessed in her.

“Dany…” Jon whispered in her ear but she pulled away and raised her hands to him.

“Ser Jorah and Ser Barristan, they were the only ones from this wretched world and they both died for me. The old knight wanted to serve his rightful queen and Ser Jorah wanted to return home.” _Home._ She reminded herself and scoffed. “He betrayed me once and I forgave him, he loved me and I couldn’t love him back. But he followed me nevertheless. And now he’s _gone_.”

She walked away from Jon, over to the other side of the table. _She could not love anyone anymore. She was cursed and everyone she had ever loved was dead,_ she thought.

“Missandei wanted to go back to the island of Naath after _this_ was over, but she died at the gate of what was once the city of my ancestors. They killed her and I could only watch from afar. She had believed in me, believed that no one will ever put her back in chains and she died .. _in chains._ And Rhaegal.. my son.. he’s gone too.. just like my two brothers, my two sons whom I named for them are gone and I could not save them. I once dreamed that I bathed the usurper’s host in fire at the Trident but my brother’s namesake is gone now. Across the narrow sea they used to call me _Mhysa_ and all I have achieved is lose two children of my blood, a son of my womb and countless …” she closed her eyes and tried to remember the names and the faces of those whom she had lost and her voice quivered in pain, “countless men and women who followed me.”

“They all followed you because they had faith in you, Dany. In you, they saw hope for a better world and there are countless more who need a better world that only you can dream.”

There was a rage in her eyes. “Look around Jon. Look closely. They’re not here, none of them, look what their faith brought them... nothing but death. The Dothraki sea was once the dominion of the horse lords, where no armies could face them. They’re all gone, run over by the soldiers of death.”

“They were sent by the gods to save humanity. History will never forget their sacrifices. You shall give them their due credit once you have claimed the seven kingdoms.”

“Humanity, history? Tell me who past the Neck believes in the army of dead? Did Cersei back down? Did your own family stop plotting against me?” She bit out harsher than she would have liked.

 _Family_. The word felt like the cold steel to his heart. ‘You once considered me family. I am still your family. Perhaps more than before if only you will allow me.’ He thought.

“I shall never forgive myself .. Never.” She closed her eyes and Jon could see her slip past his fingers.

“I shall stay by your side when we march on King’s Landing.” He told her before taking his leave and hoped she would still find some comfort in his presence.

 

 

 

“You cannot ride a dragon into the battle. You’ve seen what the ballistae did to Rhaegal. It brought him down and it can bring you down too.”

“I swore an oath and I mean to fulfill it, Lord Tyrion.” Daenerys did not bother to look at him.

“Your Grace, if this war has taught us anything, it’s that the dragons can be killed!”

“Yes, you’re not the first one to remind me, my lord. Dragons die, as do dragon slayers. If I have to, I will bet on my children and not on Cersei’s ballistae.” _I have nothing left to go on. Let this be my last gift to my people._ She wanted to say.

She turned around and kissed Jon then on his cheeks. “You’re my heir. When I fall, my men will follow you. I offered them freedom but they refused. So I pledged them a life of respect. My only wish is that you do the same for them. And if, by the will of any gods, Drogon survives, leave him alone in peace. Mayhaps someday your children will…” she left her words unsaid and smiled mirthlessly at him.

“Lord Tyrion, I’d like to have a word with the queen.” Jon intoned, almost harshly.

Jon waited till Tyrion bowed out of the chambers, closing the large oakwood doors behind him. “Daenerys, I understand you are hurting. So am I. Do not speak words of rout and death. I can’t bear to see you like this, you used to be hopeful and brimming with life, you had your dreams - for yourself, for your people, for a better world. Don’t give up on them.”

“I have no will to take the iron throne, Jon. The Red Keep was the dwelling of house Targaryen once.” she smiled at the memory she had only lived through tomes that had been her bride's gift and through tales from Viserys. “Aegon and his queens built it in wood and Maegor completed it in brick and blood. Within its walls, it holds the memories of three hundred years of the Targaryen family’s history. It echoed with the sounds of steel, the cackle of children, perhaps the insane quarreling that comes from being a part of a family.” Her smile died on her lips before it could reach her eyes. “Not that I would ever know any of it. But I liked to imagine once that Viserys and I will return here and claim what was taken from us. A fool’s dream. Nothing more.”

Dany shook her head and forwent the image of a family that had begun taking shape in her head after she had met Jon. “I wish to tear it down to whence it once began, and raze it to its foundation. But I’m not the only one of my House. It would be unfair if I took it from you. So, I’d like to see you bring all the seven kingdoms together just as your sister wished. I only seek justice for Missandei and all those who put their faith in me!” She raised her head as if in defiance to the gods themselves.

“It’s madness Dany, what Sansa wants, it’s beyond her need for familial love or safety. Your family held on to seven kingdoms for three hundred years. The Starks ruled what .. two kingdoms at best? It lasted a year and look what happened when they came South. Dany, I’ve never known Sansa that well, perhaps she was always this way and I was wrong to put my faith in her. But you know me, don’t you? You know that I want no part in the politics of seven kingdoms or one.”

“Six”

“What?”

“Six Kingdoms. I’d be fooling myself if I believed we ever had complete dominion over Dorne until a Daenerys married a Martell.”

Jon nodded in agreement with her, uncomfortably wondering what she meant. He knew a Dornish host had gathered at the Prince’s Pass in her support.

“You’re both – a Stark and a Targaryen. Perhaps you could succeed where the Starks failed.”

“Dany, look at me. Somewhere in that great war and what followed, I have lost you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, and I’ve lost you. Mayhaps I was never worthy of you. You’d have been better off with some southern lord…” he stopped himself there, “I shall not fail you, I’ll die before something even touches a wisp of your hair.” Taking her face in his palms, Jon peered into her lilac eyes, “and Dany, if I fail and you fall, I shall avenge you and I shall follow you. **This** I swear by the old gods. If I die, remember me as someone who loved you unconditionally. Without promises or oaths. Remember that I was here because I loved you. Mayhaps time and tragedies have diminished that love from your heart, not mine. I’m a simple man who believes in the strength of my sword arm and in the worth of my word. So when I say something, know that I mean it.”

“I love you, Dany.” Jon reminded her once again and pulled her and flushed her against his frame, prepared to be pushed away but he would still like to feel the little tremor in his chest that her nearness brought to him. The tremor that made him feel more alive than he had felt when he breathed in air in his lungs after lying dead for days. He kissed her sweetly, almost chastely when they began. He asked for more and she answered with a low moan that found its way to his heart and not his ears. He threaded his fingers in her hair then, soft as silk, just as he remembered from his memories from not so long ago. She was everything to him, she took away his sadness and brought him a smile just by being so lithe and flushed in his arms. _This is the only life I ever wished,_ he thought between moments of trance and tiny gasps of air they breathed into each other.

“Dany, I’m so sorry… for everything. For Ser Jorah who had been there by your side since you were a girl, Missandei who was your closest friend and advisor, and perhaps the only person who knew your heart, for Rhaegal and Viserion, your sons you named for your brothers, for your first family, for all those people you’ve loved more than _anyone_. “ _More than I once hoped you’d love me._ It hurt to think, but Jon knew it was the truth.

She loved them _much_ more than she could love him in the end. But it was alright, she had her reasons and a bastard’s life came with its many lessons, not expecting anything in return was one of them. “I’m sorry you lost all of them here in the lands of your ancestors where you had come to fullfil your destiny and I curse the fateful day I came to these shores. I love you, Dany. With all my heart. Mayhaps I’d never get another chance to say it. So, allow me to say it while I still breathe. I love you, my love. And in another life, we could have been together and in that red castle of your family, your silver-haired daughters and sons would have been mine too.”

She curled her fingers around his wrist when Jon turned away from her.

“I love you.” Dany sobbed and tears welled in her beautiful eyes.

“No one has ever loved me without reason Dany, no one but you.” He cocked his head and his shoulders dropped at the admittance.

“Just because they are not alive, doesn’t mean they loved you any less. But I still love you more than anyone possibly could. You turned a castle of stone into a home for me. So much so that _you_ became my home. I loved Missandei… she knew my heart and she knew it was safe with you. I think you should know that, Jon.” She wept inconsolably then, allowed him to see who she was in that moment - just another human being who was grieving her loved ones and all that had been taken from her.

Jon’s eyes dampened and he forced his lips to curve in a semblance of a smile. “Ser Jorah thought so too. He said something... when I tried to return him Lord Commander Mormont’s family Valyrian steel. I think you should know it because you trusted him and because he loved you. Can’t say I’m comfortable with it” he then chuckled slightly, “but I can say, I understand. It’s impossible to not love you, Dany.”

 

 

 

Three weeks later Daenerys Targaryen and Drogon hovered above the Aegon’s Hill as an army of former slaves and horse lords razed the Red Keep to its foundations and the entrance where her friend and dearest companion was slain was forever closed and enshrined so that no men could ever tread the land where the pure-hearted girl from Naath paid the price for a monarch’s lust for power.

 

 

 

_**Dragonstone, 3 years later…** _

 

“What is it?” Jon asked on noticing that Dany held a crumpled parchment in her hand with an azure seal peeking through her fingers.

She threw it with the black earth and manure Jon and Rhaella were layering over the bed of rose bushes in Aegon’s gardens. “Nothing. We have a new Kingdom in the Reach.”

“And?” Jon paused to look up at Dany as his daughter dusted her hands against his tunic and played with his curls, wrapping them around her finger the way she had her father.

“And nothing.” Daenerys smile, “They needed our aid in securing their new kingdom.”

Jon hummed and picked up Rhaella, lifting her over his head and sitting her on his shoulders as they walked back into the Castle. “How many kingdoms are there now? Four and ten?”

“No, seven and ten, four above the Neck. They remain the most united I must say.” Jon laughed at that and Dany quietly leaned on his shoulder. “Jon” she shyly whispered, “You might want to think of a name for a son.”

 _A son?_ Jon stopped and looked at her in a daze. Jon swallowed and his voice was heavy with emotions when he brought Rhaella to his chest and asked, “Rhae, my love, what would _you_ call your little brother?”

“Daeon. Like Dogon. My lēkia!” Rhaella clapped in joy and seven moons later welcomed her brother, Daeron Targaryen.

*~*~*

**Author's Note:**

> Lēkia - Brother
> 
> Thank you for reading & please do share your thoughts. :)


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